By Burger Guy
By now you probably haven’t read my review of Five Guys Burger and Fries because ..someone.. hasn’t found time to post it on her blog in the last two months. But that’s OK because I have an even better place for you to try out: DuMont Burger.
This place kicks so much ass you’ll have to get your butt replaced after eating here. DuMont Burger is the younger brother of the DuMont Restaurant. Same people, smaller menu. The first thing you’ll notice about this place is that there are no tables here, just bar stools. This might make you think, “This place doesn’t have nice furniture and probably sucks.” Well. that would make you a presumptuous fool.
On a warm day (like the both times I went), this place has outdoor seating, but who cares about seating. The burgers here are epic.
There are two burgers: the normal burger and the mini burger. The mini burger is the size of a normal burger elsewhere, and the normal burger is a mythological creature that I’ve never actually seen before. I think everyone’s too scared to order that much awesomeness. Although side note, the bigger burger is served on a brioche. Once upon a time, some ninny decided that brioches were the ultimate burger bun. I bet it was the same guy that started Better Burger which is the worst burger place ever according to scientists and everyone that’s ever been to a Better Burger.
The smaller burger is served on this ciabatta bread. It’s definitely more chewy than your typical burger bread and a little thicker, but that’s why its so ingenious. The burger meat is so juicy, the bread contains it perfectly. Except my burger was so delectable, I totally splattered it fatty juices all over my jeans on my first bite.
Typically, I put ketchup on my burgers. This is one of the few places I don’t have to do that. The meat is perfectly seasoned and cooked. The pickles are sweetened dill and add some interesting flavor on the side.
By now you’re probably saying, “Wow! Burger Guy, there can’t be anymore awesomeness can there?” First of all, stop interrupting me in the middle of my article.
The deliciousness continues with the fries and onion rings. The onions rings are MASSIVE in both size and flavor. If you get the french fries, definitely get them tossed in garlic and parmesan. Also, make sure you’re not holding onto a baby when you eat them because it’ll get slapped in the face by your dropping jaw. For a few bucks you can also get a side of chipotle mayo. I didn’t even reach for the ketchup bottle because this mayo rocked my face so hard.
Anyway, why are you still reading this article?
314 Bedford Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11211