So Burger Guy swears Five Guys is like the best burger place ever in life (after DuMont of course), and has been bugging me to go with him so I can experience this so-called awesomeness firsthand. After he sent me enough picture messages of the burgers at Five Guys, I figured the only way to make him stop would be to finally accompany him to the West Village joint.
I decided to order the regular cheeseburger with grilled onions and grilled mushrooms. Burger Guy said I should order the double, but I thought that’d be too much meat. We also got some Cajun fries. At first bite, I thought…it was pretty good. But not worth the fuss over. It was sloppy and the bread was too soft. I mean, look at it:
And the fries were just too thick to be enjoyed.
Overall I thought it was just good, but definitely not the best burger I had. I can’t figure out what Burger Guy sees in them…I’m still a Shake Shack fan. Sorry BG.
And now, Burger Guy’s way more illustrious review:
Today we’re going to talk about Five Guys Burgers and Fries and how it kicks incomprehensible amounts of ass. I haven’t tried In-and-Out or Hodad’s in California, but so far Five Guys ranks high on my list of delicious semi-fast food burgers. Sorry Shake Shack.
So recently I checked out the West Village Five Guys location. The first thing you’ll notice about this place is the smell. It smells like a combination of griddled meat and what I imagine heaven would smell like. I noticed the menu said the cheeseburgers were about 840 calories each. Translation: Keep a defibrillator handy.
Burgers are supposed to be juicy and unhealthy. One time I went to this place called Better Burger which serves “healthy burgers.” It was so bad my friend started crying. He’s 30 and has a daughter.
Five Guys knows how to keep the meat really tasty despite cooking it well done. I’ll admit if I had to assign the presentation a letter grade it would probably get a G-. I don’t know how they managed to squish the food walking the four feet to our table. I’m betting it’s because they’re environmentally friendly. They don’t like to waste extra containers for fries so they just dump the fries in the bag on top of your burger –the fries that don’t fit in the styrofoam cup anyway.
I got a double patty cheeseburger with lettuce, raw onions, ketchup, mayonnaise and jalapenos. The jalapenos at this place are great. They’re not pickled and not too spicy either. They taste fresh and give the burger a little bit of a kick. (Kick your face off.)
Surprisingly, everything is held together nicely by the soft sesame seed bun. You have to chow down quick otherwise you’ll be left with a soggy mess. This will also happen if you’re dumb and put too many toppings on it like grilled mushrooms AND grilled onions. Just because they’re free doesn’t mean you need to put them all on. Calm down.
The fries here are tricky. They’re fried in peanut oil, and you can taste it. The plain fries aren’t the best, but their cajun fries are decent. Toss a little mayo and ketchup mixed together on them and they’re even better.
Anyway, everyone should totally check this place out. Remember to remove your shoes because it will knock your socks off. (See diagram)
P.S. PrezBo goes here regularly to get his face kicked off.