I decided to recap the actual IIFA Awards with my own awards, rounding up of highlights from tonight:
Biggest Beauty Fail: Smeared red lipstick on your teeth when you win your first award for best debut female actress (I’m looking at you, Sonakshi Sinah…and really could it kill someone to let the poor girl know before she gave her giggley speech?).
The How-Is-She-Not-Aging? Award: Sridevi. Woman is nearing 50 and can still give girls half her age a run for their money.
Most Dramatic Moment: A crazy uncle fan runs on stage and grabs Shah Rukh Khan’s thigh, professing his love. Dude, if you’re his biggest fan, wouldn’t you know the poor guy just got a fracture on his knee? SRK seemed a little frazzled, but just asked the guy his name and promised him he’d meet him backstage as security took him away. Then he turns to the audience and quipped, “See, that’s the problem…I only have men who are grabbing my thighs!”
Eye Candy: It’s a tie between Arjun Rampal and Zayed Khan.
Most touching moment: When Sonu Sood, who won the award for the Best Actor In A Negative Role for Dabaang, said after getting his degree in engineering, he told his mom he wanted to be an actor, and that one day he’ll when he wins an award, he’ll ask her to come on stage to present it to him. He said since then she has passed, but he still feels her presence.
Most Random Presenter: Hilary Swank. She joined Anil Kapoor to present the award for the Best Performance in a Leading Role (Male), greeting the crowd with ‘Namaste, Toronto!‘. When Shah Rukh Khan came on stage to accept the award, he turned to Hilary and said, “You had me at Namaste.”
Ok no, I change my mind…the Ultimate Random Presenter: Cuba Gooding Jr. He came out with Bipasha Basu to present the same award in the female category. After going crazy over how hot Bipasha looked (“YOU.ARE.FINE!!!!”), he tells the audience he’d love to be in a Bollywood movie himself, and proceeds to moonwalk around Bipasha. Or maybe it was a mating dance, not totally sure.
Best Dance: Priyanka Chopra’s tribute to Asha Bosle for her Lifetime Achievement Award.
Coolest Sighting: A cab tricked out in everything-Bollywood, parked outside the Rogers Centre. It was playing songs from DDLJ, had a myriad Bollywood magazines like Stardust hanging out from its seat pockets, had an indian movie playing on its built-in TVs, and had Indian actresses plastered all over the exterior.
The Real Winner Tonight: Toronto, apparently. I think the city was thanked, praised, and congratulated approximately 5,342* times throughout the night.
OK, it’s 4 AM. I need some sleep!