Do you ever think about what nonverbal cues you’re sending out on a date? I had a chance to sit down with body language expert, Tonya Reiman, to discuss ways to get our actions to match our words so we can communicate the message we want to. “What we’re learning is different body poses make someone feel confident or potentially insecure,” she explained. “The goal for me is to teach people to be more confident, authentic, and feel more empowered.” Read on for more of her tips on body language and scent in the art of attraction:
1) Eye contact is good. Stalker stare is not.
There are some standard ways to show you’re interested: tilt your head a bit, smile, lean towards the person, and hold steady eye contact. “You do these things to let the person know they’re the only person in the room that matters.”
But don’t overdo it. “People are under the myth that if a person isn’t willing to hold eye contact, they must be lying. That’s not true. Some people are just uncomfortable holding eye contact,” Reiman explains. Stalker stare [when you’re holding eye contact in a less than natural way], she adds, usually happens when they know the perception is liars don’t hold eye contact. “So what do they do? They stalker stare when they don’t normally make eye contact. That’s a red flag.”
2) Try to minimize distractions.
“One of the biggest thing is people don’t realize they’re distracted by things that are happening outside the two-people scenario. For instance, you’re sitting with someone and somebody walks by and they’re distracted and they look. Those are signals of disinterest. Sometimes it’s just because the person is nervous, so you need to discern if it’s nervousness or real level of disinterested.”
3) To figure out if the other person is interested, observe their own body language.
Are they seated towards you or away from you? Are their hands folded or closed. “If you start to recognize that they’re more open, these are the times that you want to lean in a little bit and potentially touch the person and doing that will automatically make that person feel that connection towards you.” Touch, she says, equal power and confidence.
4) Touch + scent = unforgettable.
Touch is a powerful message but scent makes you unforgettable, Reiman says. Scents like musk, vanilla, amber go right to a man’s brain and turns them on, she says (all notes in Caress Forever body wash collection, which Reiman is a spokesperson for).
“The real cool thing about the body wash is when you stroke certain areas, it releases the fragrance.” That little indent in your neck she points out is a very vulnerable and sensual area. “I’m always telling women when you’re going on a date wear a little necklace with a small charm (that’s not a heart) an occasionally stroke that because that lets the scent out but also draws attention to your neck.” If you already wear a perfume, you can stack that over the scent of the body wash .
“What you need to realize is scent is a kind of memory, so we have touch which forms bonds and then scent which makes memories. And the memory is because you go right to the hippocampus in the brain which stores long term memory.”
Want more body language tips from Tonya? Visit houseofcaress.com.