By Melissa Stephans

I hate summer because I loathe the heat. Throughout the scorching month of July (108 degrees in Hell-Lay!), I’ve been whining that a miracle from God will have to occur in order for me to make it through August. I think God heard me, because he has delivered–literally. (Ok, credit goes to Conde Nast for this delivery, but whatever.) The August issue of Allure magazine has landed and it’s as beautiful as one of those mid-desert mirages.

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